


Wilted

by BlackMajjicDuchess



Series: The Other Kind of Soulmate [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Family, Family Issues, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Romance, Terminal Illnesses, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 11:50:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMajjicDuchess/pseuds/BlackMajjicDuchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sidestepped oneshot to "The Other Kind of Soulmate." Since the birth of their children, Hanako and Hiashi Hyuuga have been about as close as the North Pole is to the South Pole, and about as chilly. On what seems to be the last day of her life, though, Hiashi realizes how much he still loves her and isn't ready to say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wilted

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on fanfiction.net under the same pen name on 1/21/2014
> 
> This is a "hidden chapter" so to speak for my story "The Other Kind of Soulmate." It is considered a "hidden chapter" because it was not necessary to the plot of my other story and included POV characters that were not appropriate to the storyline. Nonetheless, I walked away from writing that chapter and decided that it might be a nice to explore that chapter a little more closely. Since it doesn't fit in the other story, though, I'm publishing it as its own oneshot here. Please let me know what you think!

Wilted  
\-------

As silently as he could, Hiashi pushed the door open to her room. The last time he had done so, his wife had never been so alive, and his baby girl had just taken her first breath of the harsh atmosphere of the Shinobi world, a breath she had expelled with lungs far too powerful for a creature so small.

He had hoped not to disturb her, this time, when he pushed open that door. If possible, he wanted to see her with peace on her beautiful face, so often absent in their later years. He succeeded in not making a sound, but to his dismay, Hanako was facing him and it wasn't long before she saw him. Her eyes widened, and the sad smile that had only moments before been there disappeared.

His girls were crying. Hinata, whom he had cast off in a moment of misguided traditions and wounded pride, and Hanabi, who continued to amaze him with every passing day. The three of them, his beautiful girls, looked at him as one, their pale eyes nervous.

Would things have been different, if given another try? Would he have been different? "Hinata, Hanabi," he said to them quietly. "Please wait outside." They immediately retreated; they had learned early to obey their father without sass.

His wife eyed him warily, deriving which face she needed to wear today. "Husband," she managed.

Oh, that word, he reflected. In her tone existed all of the problems that lay between them.

The word was said shortly, as if clipped off, expressing her desire to say no more than was necessary, a habit rooted in his foul temper and his dismissive, insulting words that shot down her wistful dreaming. He used to admire her dreaming; he found the sentiment beautiful and distant, like a thing he could never have, an awe-inspiring sculpture to be adored and respected for its power. Over time, her airy, gentle dreaming had come to annoy him, for his warrior's heart could never understand the softness of a woman, and he had come to resent her for her foolish hopes and dreams.

She had long since stopped calling him Sunshine, and replaced it with Husband. She had only called him Sunshine before they had had children, back when they had truly loved each other and passion had ruled their marriage. Since Hinata was born, they realized they disagreed entirely on how to structure a new life. Hanako had fought, for a while, to maintain some semblance of her daughter's individuality and spirit, while Hiashi mauled her efforts in place of duty, obedience, and law. As time wore on, Hiashi had won the war. Hanako had retreated, and with her retreat she had taken her love for him. Ever since, Hinata and Hanabi had been raised according to his doctrine and she had had virtually no input.

The love that had glossed her every name for him, be it Hiashi, Sunshine, Lover, or the rare Darling, was gone. There was no more warmth in her tone. Her warmth had retreated with her love, and she kept it locked away in the tiniest corner of her heart that she guarded most fiercely, especially from him. Somewhere in her fragile body, she still loved him, except that now she was afraid to show it. He suspected it was because his attitude would extinguish the last remaining hope that they might ever be as they once were.

She had started dying the day their first child had been born. It was the day that she had been most alive. Now, eleven years later, her life had finally waned, wilted like the many flowers she tended at home. Today was the last day. He felt it in his soul. Tomorrow, the slowly smoldering fire that had kept him warm these sixteen years was going to be cold. Lifeless.

The hardest part was knowing without needing to be told that it was all his fault. He had told himself that he was doing what was best for their children, and for a while that was enough to justify his harsh ways. Tough love would teach them to be strong. But he had had daughters, not sons, and tough love wasn't working for them. What his parenting had done had ruined them all. He saw their faces in her eyes: Hinata, frightened constantly of his disapproval. Hanabi, seething with something that she didn't yet know was hatred for all the sins he had committed.

He'd been wrong. This whole time, he had been wrong. Her soul was fleeing… from him. The cold eyes that now regarded him were the windows to a tower where a glorious princess was caged, and he had locked her there. He had never deserved her love. She had been such a lovely thing when they were younger, and as her soul hastened away from this world, he was struck by a jarring revelation.

"I'm going to miss you," he said, biting his lip and stroking her thin, fragile hands. There was so much more to say, but he was struggling to find the words. Would she even listen? Could she forgive him upon the deathbed that he had made for her?

Hanako frowned, confused, and said nothing. For years, neither of them had said more than their formal pleasantries. They slept on separate sides of the bed, not touching. The space between might as well have been a chasm that neither dared to cross. She wasn't sure how Hanabi had been conceived that way. Rarely did Hiashi ever look at her like a woman desired, and when he did, she knew the instant he had initiated sex that he had regretted it, and hardly even wished to finish. When it was over, they'd roll back to their respective side of the bed and go to sleep without even saying goodnight. After Hanabi was born, they were finished, and had not made love since.

"Did you hate me so much, Hiashi?" she whispered, her gaze fixated on their hands, now touching for the first time in almost ten years.

His first instinct was to deny it, and yet he found himself hesitating. What was it about her that repelled him? He swallowed, and struggled to find the words. "I think age made me ugly," he said at last, "and your beauty must have hurt."

Her eyebrows creased. It was the most poetic phrase to leave Hiashi's mouth in longer than she could remember.

He elaborated further. "I couldn't stand how young and naïve your ideals were," he went on. "I couldn't handle being soft on Hinata or Hanabi, and I hated it when you were. It felt like everything I was doing for them, you were undoing."

"You were strengthening their bodies and their minds against all harm," Hanako said gently, "and I understood. I was trying to strengthen their hearts and their souls so that they'd have something beautiful in this otherwise wretched world." Her frown deepened.

There had been a time when Hanako had not said such things. Her world had never been wretched until she had married him.

"Forgive me," she hastened to say. "I spoke out of turn."

He shut his eyes briefly. Her recoil stung him. "No," he said, seating himself at her bedside. "No, it is me that needs forgiveness, I think." Like a curse, pain bloomed from his heart to his fingertips. Suddenly he felt older. "I never deserved you, and I'm so very sorry for… everything." He knew it was coming, and he did not like it. Hiashi Hyuuga had not cried since he was a child.

"Oh, Hiashi," she whispered. "There was a time that you did."

Her words hurt, but he deserved it. The silence stretched between them. It was wary, but no longer as uncomfortable as it once was. They watched each other as hidden emotions unfurled more slowly than a flower blooms, years of tension slowly ebbing away. How must he look to her? Aging, severe, a man that had never truly been considered handsome but not unpleasant to look at… too much like his father. Did she see in his sour face any traces of the man she had once loved? Did she see in his expression what he was trying to say? What if she didn't? "Hanako…" he started, but his throat was so tight, the sound barely registered above breath. He swallowed, shaking, and tried again. "Hanako, I'm scared." His voice cracked, and he scrubbed a hand over his mouth, not sure where to put his trembling hands.

"Hiashi," her voice soothed as she reached for his hands. She grasped them in hers, and he was struck by how deceptively strong they were. Somewhere along the way, he'd been a complete fool and forgotten who she was. A wife wasn't just the woman who backed your play and gave birth to your children. She was supposed to be strong when he couldn't be. "You've always dealt with your fears this way."

His eyes widened. "I… have?"

"Your position of great power in our community is your greatest asset. When you are nervous, or afraid, or losing in any way, it is your power you fall back on." She lowered her voice. "But there is more than one kind of power. The love that we shared in our younger years was magnificent, and you were never stronger than you were then. Love will erase your fears. You loved me once."

He grasped her face gently but firmly in both hands and brought his within inches of hers. "I still love you," he insisted, her eyes widening. He relaxed his grip, and his features softened as he repeated it, more urgently. "I still love you."

Her lips parted on a sigh and he kissed her, all the years erased. She was his princess and his guardian angel, and he needed her here with him. They hadn't been close in so long, but now that she was departing, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to move on without her. Was life even worth living without Hanako?

"Don't cry, Hiashi," she murmured, wiping his tears away with the heel of her hand. He wasn't aware that he had been, but he had already been certain that it had been forecast. She wrapped her arms around his head and he leaned into her, letting the tears come. She shushed him as he wept, running her fingers through his graying hair. "Hinata and Hanabi will be here for you, Sunshine."

"All the years that I wasted…" he lamented into her chest.

"All the years you have with them that I don't," she finished for him. "Help them be strong the way both of us would have wanted, and watch them become better people than both of us were, stronger than me, gentler than you, and more extraordinary than anyone else's daughters ever could be. You've helped to give them wonderful gifts, my darling, and they still need you."

"Hanako, they need you, too!"

She didn't have an answer for that, and he didn't have anything else to tell her. He held onto her tightly, as if somehow his grip might rope down the soul that was trying to escape. She was warm and smelled divine, like the garden she frequented. He'd had the garden expanded when he'd found out how much she loved it, and she had her own alcove that no one else was allowed in, not even the gardener, so that she might tend to it herself. He felt absolutely wretched for wasting all of their time together, and now that time was ending too quickly. She pressed her cheek to his head and said nothing, but she held onto him no less tightly.

At some point, he had fallen asleep, exhausted from the strain. He didn't know he'd been sleeping until he woke up. Someone had been speaking to him, he was sure of it, but when he awoke, it was just him and Hanako in the room.

And she was gone.


End file.
